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by all means call out john green on his bullshit don’t stand for one bit of it but while you’re at it don’t throw the 13 year old girls who read his books under the bus with him for crying over fictional boys and photoshopping flower crowns onto things and blogging about their social anxiety protect them at all fucking costs
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 cast attend the German première of “The Amazing Spider-Man 2: Rise of Electro” in Berlin (April 15th, 2014)
Young women are having difficulty accessing tubal ligation, despite it being a relatively safe (death rate is 1-2 per 100,000) and elective surgery.
There is a waiting period of 30 days for women seeking tubal ligation, yet no waiting period for men seeking vasectomies.
Young women are often discriminated against when seeking sterilization. Many doctors ask offensive questions (“What if you met a billionaire who wanted to have kids with you?”), state categorically that their patients are too young to consider the surgery, and generally act as though, as one woman who tried unsuccessfully to be sterilized at the age of 21 in the U.K. put it, ”just because I was a woman, I’d reach a point where an urge to breed would overcome all rational thought.” (Perhaps unsurprisingly, that woman’s 25-year-old husband faced no such presumptions when he asked his doctor for a vasectomy. The procedure was quickly approved.)
Say that at 18 I slap down enough money so I could have my whole body covered head-to-toe in tattoos, piercings all over myself, a mountain of cigarettes, plastic surgery, and plan to have like 20 babies… but if I try at all to safely make it impossible for me to breed for the sake of my health suddenly its like WOAH THERE SLOW DOWN MISSY YOU’RE NOT READY FOR THIS KIND OF COMMITMENT YET
I have stage III Endometriosis, which means I have to get my uterus removed because I literally have terrible cramps ALL THE TIME and not just when I’m on my period. Now, I’ve always said I don’t want any children for personal reasons and I don’t need my uterus, really. I am not worried about that surgery and I don’t feel any kind of nostalgia over an organ I won’t ever use.
The thing is, my doctor is a ‘man’. This ‘man’ told me I had to get pregnant right now before it’s too late. I told him I didn’t want to get pregnant and explained the multiple reasons but what, do you ask, did my doctor have to say about this? 'Well, better have a kid now because just imagine how depressing it must be being a thirty-something woman without children and a husband?'
I was diagnosed a year ago. I should have gone through surgery six months ago and I still can’t find a doctor that will perform the surgery without trying to force me to have children first. Basically, if you’re a woman you don’t have a say in what can and cannot be done to your body without a shitload of people getting in the way AND I’M FUCKING SICK OF IT.
Women are getting non-consensually sterilized in prison but no doctors in my area while tie my tubes at 24 because I might regret it? Fuck you, doctors. I have more purpose in life than dropping babies. Some of those women in prison are probably great moms and I have no interest in parenting. Let us have a say!
A dear friend of mine wanted to have her tubes tied. She was about to give birth to twins and the doctors wouldn’t consent because she wasn’t 21 yet. She had already had children and they still refused to let her have the procedure.
My friend got a vasectomy a week after asking his doctor for one, no problem. He was 25.
Me? I’ve asked 4 different doctors for some kind of permanent sterilisation—tubal ligation or Essure or whatever—and I get a pat on the head and a “You’d regret it if you did.”
Oh, DIDN’T REALIZE YOU HAD A DIRECT LINE TO MY BRAIN.
On the flip side, as a vagina-having person who had her tubes tied at the age of 26 (after having 4 children, however):
MY HUSBAND HAD TO SIGN A CONSENT FORM IN ORDER FOR ME TO HAVE THE PROCEDURE DONE.
How many times have we heard stories about husbands having vasectomies behind their wives backs and never telling them, letting those wives wallow in guilt and misery, thinking it’s their fault that they can’t get pregnant?
And yet I had had to get my husband’s permission to have my tubes tied.
(Obviously this was a decision we’d talked about extensively beforehand, so it’s not like he was about to say no, but we both couldn’t believe the fucking audacity of the hospital, asking HIS permission for ME to do something with MY body. In fact, he said as much to the nurse that brought in the forms.)
I am 36. I’m single, I don’t have kids and I don’t want kids.
I also had horrendous, frequent periods. When I went to the gynaecologist, she recommended that we try a Mirena. I let her know that I’d had menorrhagia on a previous form of low-dose, oestrogen-only birth control (implanon), and that I was apprehensive that it wouldn’t work.
She said “Well, after that you’re out of options.”
I was incredibly upset. I was willing to try, but what if it didn’t work? Was I literally condemned to a life where I’m bleeding and in pain more often than not and I just have to put up with it?
I rang my parents. My Mum listened to me and said “That doesn’t sound right” and put my Dad (who’s a doctor, and a qualified obstetrician/gynaecologist) on the phone.
Apparently I was not out of options and she shouldn’t have said I was. The next option is a surgical D & C to see if that fixed it, and if that didn’t work, an ablation, which would have left me permanently infertile. If that didn’t work, a hysterectomy (although Dad warned me that I should do what I could to avoid the hysterectomy, it comes with a horde of other side effects.)
I don’t know whether it was fear, I don’t know whether it’s because I was a public patient. I don’t know what it was. But the gynae was so scared of female infertility that she wouldn’t even give me information about treatment options. I had to ask my father.
(FYI, the Mirena worked and I had a shouting row with the gynaecologist where I accused her of having her objectivity and medical judgement biased by the religion of her employers.)
I’m so lucky that my doctor is almost “pushing” sterilization on me. He’s super supportive and knows that I’m done having kids, but still don’t have anything permanent planned.
When I approached my specialist about permanent forms of birth control, the first thing she said to me was that I was too young (I was 22). I kept telling her that it was a decision I had made nearly a decade ago because of having Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and now POTS and scoliosis, but she kept trying to convince me that I wasn’t old enough to make that decision. My decision has been formed because of my poor health and high complications with pregnancy that could be deadly. My mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother all had complications with birth and miscarriages from EDS, and it’s a miracle that my mother even lived through her miscarriage. After explaining this, my rheumatologist and EDS specialist finally said that they could get me in contact with an high-risk OBGYN to see if there are other options for me for having children.
BUT I DON’T WANT CHILDREN. I don’t want to pass along these disorders. I don’t want to be on five months of bed rest. I don’t want to risk miscarriage after miscarriage or dying during giving birth. I don’t want to dislocate my hips whilst giving birth. I don’t want my organs to tear and never heal properly because of EDS. I don’t want to have to care for another being while I can’t even take care of myself because of the fatigue and pain. I don’t want to subject a child to have to take care of me as I become more disabled. I ALREADY HAVE A CAT. I CANNOT TAKE ON ANOTHER DEPENDENT.
It just infuriates me that between the health risks, family history, and my own decision about my life and body, I am still not taken seriously. This shouldn’t be a problem!
Queer workers at the July 1992 picket of End-Up Bar in San Francisco, holding signs and banners reading "Support Militant Queer Labor" and "Build Militant Queer Unions"
In 1992, queer workers of the Industrial Workers of the World (IWW) were illegally fired for attempting to organize a union at the End-Up, a popular gay bar in San Francisco’s South of Market district.
The “gay ghetto,” as residents called it, was composed of young, working class queer people who had fled abusive households, often before they were even eighteen. Expecting to be accepted in a community of fellow queer people, these young people found that their vulnerability was exploited by employers who, despite being gay themselves, paid queer workers as little as $5/hr to wait tables. As one queer IWW member said,
The real victory at the End-Up, however, is that queer workers organized to fight back within our own community. As a ruling caste, gay establishment bosses simultaneously maintain a stranglehold on the community’s resources while simultaneously proclaiming that “we’re all family.” Fiercely anti-union, gay bar owners also publish the local gay papers and own the boutiques in “our” neighborhood, where sometimes we get to work.
The unmitigated gall of homophobic bigots is matched in a very odd way by the bosses of the gay ghetto. Bashings and discrimination keep people fleeing to communities of identity in urban centers like San Francisco, in the hopes of building lives with some measure of freedom and safety. That means lots of new people, all the time, without pre-existing roots in the community and desperate for work to boot. It keeps wages low. It keeps people scared to rock such boat as there is, to talk back, or step out of line, for what such workers have to lose is their very sense of self.
Rather than appeal to the anti-labor and anti-queer courts for assistance, the queer workers championed the IWW’s strategy of “solidarity unionism,” where workers used direct action on their job to enforce their demands. Their picket lines were respected by truck drivers of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters (IBT), who delivered liquor to the bar. With no liquor being delivered to the establishment and daily pickets surrounding the bar, the End-Up’s management eventually buckled, reinstated the fired workers, and officially recognized the union.
This was one of the first successful implementations of the IWW’s now-popular model of solidarity unionism, and demonstrates the relevance of revolutionary unions to queer struggles.
[a worker’s account of the picket can be read here. image from The Industrial Workers of the World: Its First 100 Years, p. 211]
(breaks into your house) can i pet your dogs
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